It's Official

It's official.

Sunday June 23, 2013
Coeur d'Alene, Idaho 
Swim 2.4 miles, bike 112 miles, run 26.2 miles; brag for the rest of your life.

I'm entered. 
Ironman 140.6
I'm scared.

I have been thinking about this for some time. I have been working up to this since 2008.
I set a goal in the winter of 2007, when I was grossly overweight, that I would do an Ironman by the time I turn 50. It was an outrageous goal at the time, almost flippant.
But, I ran my first sprint tri in 2008, after dropping almost 100 pounds.
The next year, 2009, I entered an Ironman 70.3. (Half Ironman)
I ran in that race every year since, 
learning, 
getting stronger, 
feeling comfortable,
and perhaps hiding there.
I forgot my goal of Ironman.

As well, there has been a bit of stress over the past few years. Luckily, triathlon kept me grounded.
Dad died in 2009. (still dealing)
Separated from a distant spouse in 2010. (denial, denial, denial)
Ended a terrible marriage in 2012. (in the process as we speak)
Felt alone for 3 years. (even now, i feel that pain)
All the while, i had that next swim, that next bike, that next run scheduled. Kept me going. Kept me sane. Gave my mind a place to be, other than focussing solely on the pain I was feeling. For me, racing has become life. I recieved so much joy, and growth, and benefit.

With every benefit comes a challenge, I suppose.
So, as time passed, I lost a bit of myself along the way. 
I lost that part of me that sought a challenge, that looked for growth. 
Rather than grow, I became content to just tread water. I didnt move forward, i didnt move backward.
I just sat in 1 spot.
I developed an endurance, a tolerance to my emotional pain.
The races i entered were once a year. I trained lazily. I abused my body with poor food choices.
The training and racing became relatively easy, I knew what to expect, I knew I could finish. 
I was stuck, in every sense.
I was in my comfort zone in my racing, I was in a comfort zone in my life. Stagnation.

No more .
Today, I remembered my triathlon goal from so many years ago, an Ironman distance race before I'm 50. I also remembered my life goals from so many years ago. 
Goals of personal happiness, and love, and connectedness.
Just turned 48.......time to shake things up.

So, road trip in June.
Ironman.
Over the next few months, I will learn, and grow, and develop as an ironman athlete, and personally, as a man, a father, a companion, and a future spouse. (No solid marriage plans, not an engagement announcement or anything.)

I will keep you up to date with everything.
My training.
My equipment.
My food.
My life.

cheers, and remember....
If you are an ounce more devoted than you are afraid, you can do anything!